I’m sure I don’t have double personality.
But my personality was divided on you,
Two different personalities,
Two different wishes,
Two different opinions.
There’s me who wanted you to be happy:
As long as you are able to smile,
As long as you enjoy your life,
And as long as you’re healthy,
No matter who you are with.
And that me would not be happy when you were in pain.
Because your happiness is hers too.
There is another me:
Who wanted to be the source of your happiness,
Who wanted to look after you,
Who wanted your smile to be hers,
Who wanted to be your treasure.
That other me was in pain because she couldn’t bring you to happiness.
And she couldn’t let you be happy with other.
That other me wanted you by her side.
And I really couldn’t tell,
Which one was the real me.
Was it the one that wanted to be yours?
Or was it the one that loved you so much, thus let you go?
Then I confronted these two sides of me,
The one who wished to be yours, with the one who was willing to let you go.
I let them fought each other,
Maintaining their position of each side of my soul.
Myself who wished to be yours, exclaimed:
Why should I give up if I was sure no one loves you like I do?
Why did I have to smile if you are happy with other?
Why should I give up if I know what’s best for you?
Myself who was willing to let you go, said:
Why did I have to force my happiness to be your happiness?
Why can’t I be happy with your choice?
Why was I so selfish and held you from smiling to the world?
I am now walking in two sides.
Two sides that walked on different roads.
I wish someday they will bond, and walk together.
Or just let it be.
They didn’t have to be one.
As long as they do not choose the opposite directions.
Your happiness is the priority.
If you are happy, isn’t it enough?
(dedicated to someone I missed so much…)
Versi Bahasa Indonesia bisa dibaca disini: Two Sides of Me – Bahasa Indonesia Version
Let’s Sing and Dance in the Rain,